Best Dressed – Adams, Worst – Bigelow, and much more

A lot of JC Penney during the ad breaks, the reliance on their women's line was not encouraging for guys like me who dress exclusively in menswear. Deduct two points.

ABC put the freakishly tall Robin Roberts on the red carpet, making actors such as Mark Ruffalo look freakishly small when she chatted to them.

The Mistress was acutely pithy in her observations:

* gwyneth paltrow is looking like marcia brady circa Hawaii episode.
* Mila Kunis looks like she's had some hooch.
* Marisa Tomei is puffy and menopausal.


A good year for dresses, mostly. Oprah was wearing water wings. Amy Adams looked the most beautiful in a dress that matched her eyes. Kathyrn Bigelow looked like an unshapely man trapped in a Christmas stocking.

The guy who won best director stole part of his speech from the woman who won best foreign film.

Earlobes jangled on Natalie Portman from the weight of her earrings as she collected her well-deserved win for Black Swan. Sitting behind her, Darren Aronofsky's World War I fighter pilot moustache twinkled charismatically.

Scarlet Johannson and Matthew McConaughey have never looked more clapped-out. A guest I had over, Jon felt that he should have at least washed his greasy hair. His wife Emily thought that maybe Scarlet experienced some haggard sex prior to the get-together.

New Hollywood trend identified: British and American men collaborations, they were everywhere yesterday.

“This is hurting my ears,” said I during the Mandy Moore song.

I give this mediocre awards show 10/10