Tonight I'll sort of move between the study and the loungeroom in an old cardigan with a glass of whisky in my hand , recalling past triumphs and remembering those who put their trust in me before I stomped on their dreams and brutally dashed their hopes, and then I will sit down to eat a Not Dog and watch the Amazing Race it starts at 9.30pm on Channel Eight don't miss it.

To walk in a leisurely fashion

My new desk allows for an open dictionary, encouraging me to seek out definitions for words such as trundling and the like.

De Campo has turned me onto mushrooms – goddamn I swear I wouldn’t submit, then they turned up in my soup rather unexpectedly. I’ve yet to become The Soft Boys Vegetable Man, but I am appreciating vegetables more everyday. I no longer think they are poor people food.

Mistress Bel did not turn me onto Christopher Isherwood don’t believe her if she tells you she has, it was an good-looking older man who did.

I took an early lunch and raided the work fridge for butter eventually finding some on the shelf inside a plastic bag behind some rotted eggplant. I dashed to the bench and spread it on my toast as fast as I could but then I couldn’t remember how this person had tied the bag up in the first place and was forced to come clean in a office email. I received one reply and it was from my boss who had the temerity to ask why I needed the butter in the first place, before adding, actually on second thought…HAHAHA