New Tina Fey film is godawful, literally soporific

Waste of money (two movie tickets, two Pepsis, two candy bars). Tina looks rested in one scene. Paul Rudd looks like he wants out.

Three events in my bed on three consecutive nights

1. Awoken by a leg cramp Saturday night.
2. There was a bat in me bed! Awoken by the flapping wings of a flapping bat. Then it landed in my bed! Finally I flipped on my lamp and put my knees down and thankfully there was no bat.
3. Startled awake to discover, after some consternation, that the sorority girl serial killer was just a dream and as far as I could tell I was no longer hiding in the bushes.

The Spirit of the Beehive is so Goddamn Great

Soderbergh's Behind the Candelabra

I'm excited about this new liberace biopic. Matt Damon stars alongside Michael Douglas, who plays the flamboyant pianist, and the pair are seen getting intimate in several scenes.

Side effects

Went to Steven Soderbergh's latest film, his last, called Side Effects. It's about anti-depressants and it is fairly wild. People get in trouble for different reasons. I didn't know what was going on, but I liked it. Jude Law was mortally flabbergasted, Rooney Mara's hair was Eleanor Friedberger-esque. I wrote in my journal afterwards in the parking lot that that was one creepy ass flick! I never really had side effects. I went on anti-depressants and those made me constipated I remember. I would always complain to the guys at Strategy Publishing about my constipation. I was drinking really strong coffee and my stomach was not coping. This was in 1998-1999 near Multnomah Village. No feeling in my doodle, but that was fine by me. The reason I was on anti-depressants was because the woman I loved was in Tasmania. I stopped taking them after I moved. I wore a funny, but comfortable outfit on the plane.

 

...But back to the busy kitchen with dad and his drawers down getting busy with mom. Funny what the hills can do to a man talking to no one but squirrels for a week.* I will spare you most of the gory details, only to add that dad showed an alarming inability to reacclimate himself to civilisation, namely the house in Portland, Oregon and the polish-tinged love nest mom had created. Take the charts, for an example. Atop Billboard at the time was Al Green’s Let's Stay Together, a top quality tune and ideal for taking that special someone to that next- level place. However in dad's attempt to serenade mom with Reverend Al, he sounded like a grey digger squirrel. Nevertheless I am proof that it worked — most dismal conception ever. Their long marriage is proof also. Fifty two years is nothing to squirrel at.

- from a reading last Saturday at NAU

*as the story goes dad was hunting prior to my conception. He came home and Mom seduced him with beer-battered polish sausages in the kitchen. 

List of credits: speech bubbles by toby dutton, all other instruments boy moritz