The bombastic cries of a man living too long in Sasquatch country

Steve Malkmus review

Guest Playlist 18th November Night of the Assassins 3CR (The Moritza Midnight Special)

Freeway - Beaches
Everything with You- The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
Song for Tiki- Lindsay Low Hand
Kindling for the Master (Polmo Polvo Remix)- Stephen Malkmus
Operation- Deerhunter
Alchemy- Richard Lloyd
Hey! Little Child- Alex Chilton
What's Going On - Jungle Brothers
Strange Victory, Strange Defeat- Silver Jews
Let's Hang On- The Four Seasons
Life in Suburbs- New Estate
Place in the Sun- Triffids
Elevation- Television
When a Whiskey Buys a Whiskey- Craven Fops
Fuck Books- Times New Viking
Minimum Amount of Fuss- Flywheel
Agoraphobia- Deerhunter
Ooga- Ooga Boogas
Bad Sneakers- Steely Dan Katy Lied
The Analog Kid- Rush
Be Careful, Baby, Be very Careful- Dory Previn
Viaduct- The Pastels

Saturday between 11.30am and five o' clock

Got on my bike and took Mia’s birthday gift back to the shop where I bought it from (she already had the gift apparently, at least that’s what her husband said even though he thinks I don’t trust him, but I do) asked the clerk if they had the new deerhunter in, not for Mia, for me (for my forthcoming bike ride to Suzy’s school fair) they didn’t, so I tried somewhere else, they didn’t have it there either, so I bought Mia something from somewhere else and thought screw it, I wanted deerhunter, I needed it and got on my bike and went to Polyester Records, sun on my face, wind at my rear (note I said “at” not “out”) and they had it by George, they had it. Went home and loaded it on iTunes, put a bloody mary in me, conversed with Zelda Fitzgerald, Noel Coward and Chuck Paulahnik, the drink was multi-faceted with a lot of different types of quality in it, I appreciated the effort that went into making it and said as much, hopped back on my bike, strapped with an updated iPOD, the music was so warm and nice in my ears, the tunes lightening my lobe, the bike path led me right to Suzy’s school, though Toby had to wave me down as I actually shot past it, came back, parked it, walked out on the artificial grass where stalls were assembled, Suzy’s friend Shay was there, toby, her and I went and ordered a bottle of champagne, it was the only option really, beer would have been better but the person manning the booze tent organised a bunch of winter beer that’s best to sip, thinking about it now makes me thirsty, gee, my writing is awfully sensual, Toby handed me a birthday gift in the form of The Ultramagnetic MC’s Critical Beatdown on vinyl, my goodness, an erudite selection, thank you Toby, Dave Reeder then walked up, he had his shades on you could tell he’d been dealt a crazy blow the night previous and it turns out Go Genre Everything and copious booze were behind it, Mia and her husband, plus Sadie and her followers turned up after that, I exchanged pleasantries with them all, informed Mia I did not have her present with me even though I bought it less than an hour earlier (left it at home), and then I had to jet, bid farewell while Mia was singing a couple of numbers, headed back, lost my bearings in Clifton Hill, retrieved them on wellington street, took a right at the Tote, turned left on Smith Street, parked my bike there and walked to Mario’s Pizza parlour, my final destination, people were outside caning beers, inside Jane Dust was belting her lungs out in her own big-hearted way, her shiny Charlie’s Angels hair, wavy and terrific, pearls in her ears, by the time I squeezed myself up front and said hello to her sissy, who hugged me and asked why I was sweaty, her last song finished, ugh, went up and chatted to Clare Moore, who was there with Kaye Patterson, apparently a smashing singer, the word on the street is they have formed an act called Patterson and Moore, they expressed concern the name might sound too much like an accounting firm and they’re right but I didn’t say anything, at the end of the day the music will be what matters I looked down my shoulder and wouldn’t you believe I was standing next to a table full of free pizza, so I used my position to an advantage and had a slice! It was good pizza, Phillippa who was standing next to the pizza too, said that she used to order the Volcano when she worked at the Tote and I could understand why she did when that one came out because that one was particularly tasty with hot salami and capers, I was eyeing the merchandise next to the pizza, some nice gatefold vinyl of the ooga boogas who were launching their album with Jane Dust, a personal friend of mine as support and plenty of free pizza. I had my eyes more on the pizza than the music, but the pizza was too hot so I talked to the merch girl about the merch and she was from Virginia but I didn’t figure that at all, until she said so and I said I’d liked to hear the music first before I buy the album and then the Ooga boogas started playing and the pizza was no longer hot, but the music sure was and I turned to Elizabeth, my fingers covered in grease and said this is the kind of show where they don’t give you any serviettes and you just wipe your hands on your face. She said that good, huh? I nodded with a big ole grin. Bought the vinyl, but I think I’ll give it to Mia and take back the other thing I bought her.

Me circa 11am tomorrow

"THEY...CALL...A-LA-BA-MA...THE...CRRRIMMMM-SON TII-IIIIIDE."